calcatesApr 234 minWhy I Get UpI like to ask real questions. When I meet a person and they say, “My husband this...” or “My wife that…” I regularly ask, “Do you like...
calcatesJan 202 minMoments: Exhibit AA morning like so many others. Uneventful. Lunch-making and listening. The stagnant grey of mid-January in northern Virginia calling...
calcatesDec 24, 20211 minReplenishLove and merriment to you, friends. I hope you'll make time to be overcome, if only momentarily, by blessed gratitude for whatever it is...
calcatesDec 19, 20215 minDon't Let the Santas Keep Us DownI love joy. Love. It. Surprise? Bring it! Magic? Yes, please. Perhaps what I love most about these experiences is that they are available...
calcatesDec 11, 20214 minHarmlessI’m going to tell you a story. It’s still happening. To me. Inside me. This story is not about you in any specific sense. That said, my...
calcatesOct 15, 20213 minWhat We Say When We (Struggle to) Say TheyThe thing about “they” as a pronoun is that it is far from neutral, particularly when heard and used, or -- not heard or used -- by...
calcatesSep 10, 20214 minBad AdviceI have given a lot of bad advice. I never meant to do it. It just happened. I was trying to help. I was trying to stop the pain. Aren’t...
calcatesSep 7, 20213 minSkunk“I always enjoy Cal’s presentations, but I thought it was deeply inappropriate to throw Critical Race Theory into the middle of a...
calcatesAug 31, 20213 minGender CrazySince spreading the word about my top surgery in January of this year, I have heard from friends both close and distant asking if I would...
calcatesAug 8, 20213 minThe Thin Pink LineI think a lot about what it means to a woman. Female is easy to tag. It’s biology. It’s anatomy. With some notable and important...
calcatesMay 6, 20213 minBound Up (explicit)We are nothing without each other and yet, we treat each other like we’re nothing. We have got to do so much better. Last night, my...
calcatesMay 1, 20214 minCocoon: The Return (to myself)“Hang on to this nasty ol’ lifeless skin for me, will ya?” said no snake ever. Here I sit. Just about 3 months into boob-free livin’....
calcatesJan 25, 20214 minDear BodyDear Body, As your only and most faithful tenant these many years, I must say, you’re the bomb. Lest you think me a common mid-Atlantic...
calcatesJan 18, 20215 minLook kids! Big Ben! Martin Luther King Day will be observed in our nation for the 26th time this year. Ronald Reagan signed the bill in 1983 and the first...
calcatesJan 15, 20213 minIs that Folgers?“Gah! That guy just spilled my coffee!” Actually, “that guy” just spilled whatever was in your cup. Could have been water. Could have...
calcatesJan 7, 20213 minThe ChipsWe had an election. The chips fell, as they say. One guy didn’t win. That’s how elections go. There’s a person who wins and a person who...
calcatesDec 31, 20203 minResolveI live in Arlington, Virginia “Arlington will be a diverse and inclusive world-class urban community with secure, attractive residential...
calcatesDec 21, 20205 minMind the GapRemember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he comes barreling down the stone passageway into what looks like a...
calcatesDec 15, 20207 minWhen the Boob is on the Other FootOn Monday morning, I went to a consult with a surgeon to see about having what is often called in the trans community "top surgery." For...
calcatesDec 2, 20205 minTrigger Happy“Ugh. That thing she said? It totally triggered me.” How many times have you heard this or something like it in the last handful of...