calcatesApr 234 minWhy I Get UpI like to ask real questions. When I meet a person and they say, “My husband this...” or “My wife that…” I regularly ask, “Do you like...
calcatesJan 202 minMoments: Exhibit AA morning like so many others. Uneventful. Lunch-making and listening. The stagnant grey of mid-January in northern Virginia calling...
calcatesDec 24, 20211 minReplenishLove and merriment to you, friends. I hope you'll make time to be overcome, if only momentarily, by blessed gratitude for whatever it is...
calcatesDec 11, 20214 minHarmlessI’m going to tell you a story. It’s still happening. To me. Inside me. This story is not about you in any specific sense. That said, my...
calcatesOct 15, 20213 minWhat We Say When We (Struggle to) Say TheyThe thing about “they” as a pronoun is that it is far from neutral, particularly when heard and used, or -- not heard or used -- by...
calcatesSep 10, 20214 minBad AdviceI have given a lot of bad advice. I never meant to do it. It just happened. I was trying to help. I was trying to stop the pain. Aren’t...
calcatesSep 7, 20213 minSkunk“I always enjoy Cal’s presentations, but I thought it was deeply inappropriate to throw Critical Race Theory into the middle of a...
calcatesMay 6, 20213 minBound Up (explicit)We are nothing without each other and yet, we treat each other like we’re nothing. We have got to do so much better. Last night, my...
calcatesJan 25, 20214 minDear BodyDear Body, As your only and most faithful tenant these many years, I must say, you’re the bomb. Lest you think me a common mid-Atlantic...
calcatesJan 15, 20213 minIs that Folgers?“Gah! That guy just spilled my coffee!” Actually, “that guy” just spilled whatever was in your cup. Could have been water. Could have...
calcatesDec 2, 20205 minTrigger Happy“Ugh. That thing she said? It totally triggered me.” How many times have you heard this or something like it in the last handful of...
calcatesNov 16, 20203 minDo I Look Small in This?I’ve been reading The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias by Dolly Chugh. Oh, man. Every time I pick it up, I make sure I’m...
calcatesNov 4, 20202 minAliveHumans are afraid of death. Don’t fight me on this. It’s a thing. It’s well-documented. There are those of us who have worked to make...
calcatesOct 26, 20204 minGimme That Ol’ Time Repression"Pull your shirt down!" came an adult female voice from off-field. I was playing football with the boys again. It was summer. It was hot....
calcatesOct 13, 20203 minThis Ain't Twilight“Hey, Bear. What’s up?” I move across my son’s bedroom toward his slumped little 10-year-old self behind the end of his bed. A sad scene,...
calcatesOct 6, 20203 minBetween Stimulus and ResponseViktor Frankl spent three years imprisoned in concentration camps during World War II. His wife, his father, his mother and brother were...
calcatesAug 25, 20202 minStaying Out of the WayCOVID invited me to lead a weekly book group about the book "Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life...