calcates
Shooting in the Dark
“Why does this keep happening?”, we ask in heartbroken disbelief. It keeps happening because it’s an option. The ubiquity of guns in this...
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It's Getting Real In Here.
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calcates
- Apr 23, 2022
- 4 min
Why I Get Up
I like to ask real questions. When I meet a person and they say, “My husband this...” or “My wife that…” I regularly ask, “Do you like...
calcates
- Jan 20, 2022
- 2 min
Moments: Exhibit A
A morning like so many others. Uneventful. Lunch-making and listening. The stagnant grey of mid-January in northern Virginia calling...
calcates
- Dec 24, 2021
- 1 min
Replenish
Love and merriment to you, friends. I hope you'll make time to be overcome, if only momentarily, by blessed gratitude for whatever it is...
calcates
- Dec 18, 2021
- 5 min
Don't Let the Santas Keep Us Down
I love joy. Love. It. Surprise? Bring it! Magic? Yes, please. Perhaps what I love most about these experiences is that they are available...
calcates
- Aug 31, 2021
- 3 min
Gender Crazy
Since spreading the word about my top surgery in January of this year, I have heard from friends both close and distant asking if I would...
calcates
- Aug 7, 2021
- 3 min
The Thin Pink Line
I think a lot about what it means to a woman. Female is easy to tag. It’s biology. It’s anatomy. With some notable and important...
calcates
- May 6, 2021
- 3 min
Bound Up (explicit)
We are nothing without each other and yet, we treat each other like we’re nothing. We have got to do so much better. Last night, my...
calcates
- Jan 25, 2021
- 4 min
Dear Body
Dear Body, As your only and most faithful tenant these many years, I must say, you’re the bomb. Lest you think me a common mid-Atlantic...
calcates
- Jan 15, 2021
- 3 min
Is that Folgers?
“Gah! That guy just spilled my coffee!” Actually, “that guy” just spilled whatever was in your cup. Could have been water. Could have...
calcates
- Dec 21, 2020
- 5 min
Mind the Gap
Remember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he comes barreling down the stone passageway into what looks like a...
calcates
- Dec 15, 2020
- 7 min
When the Boob is on the Other Foot
On Monday morning, I went to a consult with a surgeon to see about having what is often called in the trans community "top surgery." For...
calcates
- Dec 8, 2020
- 7 min
The Shadow Knows
I have been hanging out at the bedside of dying people for about 15 years now. Every time I tell someone who doesn’t also do that work...
calcates
- Dec 2, 2020
- 5 min
Trigger Happy
“Ugh. That thing she said? It totally triggered me.” How many times have you heard this or something like it in the last handful of...
calcates
- Nov 16, 2020
- 3 min
Do I Look Small in This?
I’ve been reading The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias by Dolly Chugh. Oh, man. Every time I pick it up, I make sure I’m...
calcates
- Nov 4, 2020
- 2 min
Alive
Humans are afraid of death. Don’t fight me on this. It’s a thing. It’s well-documented. There are those of us who have worked to make...
calcates
- Oct 30, 2020
- 3 min
Daniel and Me
“You are not required to pursue health to be deemed worthy of love, respect or belonging.” I’m sorry. Say wha? When I first read* this...
calcates
- Oct 26, 2020
- 4 min
Gimme That Ol’ Time Repression
"Pull your shirt down!" came an adult female voice from off-field. I was playing football with the boys again. It was summer. It was hot....
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